Joe Greenwood cites dedication to mediocrity as drive to not join ICF

BY DREW KINCIUS

Indianapolis native Joe Greenwood cited his lack of giving a damn about just about everything as his primary inspiration for not joining the dynamic community that is Indy City Futbol.

When asked why he is so in tune with his need to contribute literally nothing to society, he hesitated to respond, having to wake himself up from dozing off during this interview. "It's not easy committing yourself to providing nothing to the outside world. In fact, it's even harder to be a nobody than a somebody, which in essence should go against my core value of 'less is more,'" said Joe. 

Noting an impending existential crisis, Joe decided it was time to forget the topic at hand and return to a peaceful nap while continuing to drool on his favorite Doritos flavor-dusted t-shirt from middle school.

Being average takes a lot of hard work.

Being average takes a lot of hard work.