League Proposing Fan Ban Due to Showing of Excessive Support

By MJ Dunne

This season of ICF has been the most riveting yet. It has seen amazing breakaways, crushing penalties, and poorly advised bicycle kicks (looking at you, Old Speedway City). One would think the drama would be isolated to the field, but that has not been the case.

The Commissioner is now faced with a tough decision regarding unruly fans. Spectators are throwing their lawn chairs, yelling at players and refs, and generally causing scenes.

“Central Greens Field isn’t the place for a ‘Green Street Hooligans’ reboot. The fans are disruptive and I believe they’ve made my dogs aggressive!”

The Commissioner’s angelic dogs before ICF’s 2017 season

The Commissioner’s angelic dogs before ICF’s 2017 season

The Commish’s rabid dogs during ICF’s 2017 season. You can’t tell from this angle, but a close source stated they were frothing at the mouth.

The Commish’s rabid dogs during ICF’s 2017 season. You can’t tell from this angle, but a close source stated they were frothing at the mouth.

 

ICF media team has been told on good authority that if the crowds do not control themselves, they will not be able to watch from their coveted sideline seats. Also on the table: imposing ticket sales or soccer ball runners to turn the ICF fan experience around.

Some players see the issue from an entirely different lens. "Those dogs are terrorizing the League!" said a Garfield AC defensemen.  "Those chairs were being thrown in defense; I've heard that AC Woodruff Place lost several small children in the last few weeks. We highly suspect the dingos stole those babies."