Fallon d'Floor Toss-up: Which Teams are in the Running?!

By MJ Dunne

It’s a familiar dream: you’re racing down the pitch at Bernabéu. Messi sends a beautiful cross that you instinctively drill into the net. You score the winning goal and the crowd goes wild. Messi is amazing. You’re amazing. Life is amazing.

Then, you feel a slight kick to the back that jolts you awake. It’s your drooling, bed-hogging dog. Reality sets in: you’re not a professional soccer player and you’re dangerously close to being late for your 9-to-5 gig. Again.

Most Indy City Futbol players do not have what it takes to be in La Liga, but what they lack in technical skill, they overcompensate with acting abilities. There is some impressive, professional-level diving.

“Last week, a forward on Meridian-Kessler United was slightly nudged during a throw-in and I saw him do a barrel roll, “ said an unnamed source from AC Mile Square. “I wasn’t even mad. That takes commitment”

What started as small attempts to gain an advantage on the pitch are now disrupting post-match handshakes. Real Fletcher Place almost received off-field penalties due to a few overly aggressive high fives.

It probably looked like this though.

It probably looked like this though.

There is a silver lining in this burgeoning trend. If ICF players perfect their diving techniques, they could win the prestigious “Fallon d’Floor”. Some notable divers include: Di María, Robben and Neymar. You may never play with Messi, but you can “dive like Ronaldo”. I think that has a ring to it, don’t you?

Take notes, kids. This is next level diving.