Sources Say League Considering Herron Morton Split
ICF Media sources say the League is considering a drastic move in alignment after the 2018 season. The ICF Neighborhood Team Caucus has quietly submitted a proposal requesting that Sporting Herron Morton split into two teams: Herron Athletic Club and Morton City.
League Commissioner Jordan Updike adamantly denied any such plans in a recent interview. “Just because Sporting Herron Morton has two championships, a goal differential of +20 after four games and apparently has recruited a former University of Kentucky goalkeeper does not mean we would consider splitting up the neighborhood team.“
Sporting Herron Morton Captain Josh Dials grinned slyly when asked his thoughts about dividing the neighborhood into two teams. “What, so you want Herron versus Morton in the championship every year?“ he said. “Sign me up, baby!”
We reached out to five-year sponsor Nottingham Realty Group owner Mark Nottingham.
“Would I sponsor two teams? You better believe I would! My goal is to own every Indy City Futbol Championship Trophy for the next 10 years. Every trophy increases property values by at least 20%. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Last we checked, Mr. Nottingham was seen at the corner of 16th and Alabama Streets still laughing maniacally and rolling around in a pile of money.
In addition to the return of Chris Hartley, the SHM player who last year took his talents to Mass Ave United, Sporting Herron Morton has also seen the return of former manager Ryan Smith this season. The strength of the team has been credited to a strong farm system and the ability to avoid losing players in free agency. “I’ve crossed Tinker Street a few times to do some scouting,“ said Old North United player Matt Maples. “I didn’t find anything except a strong seller’s real estate market, excellent architecture, and these guys practicing during their neighborhood meetings.”
Competitiveness has long been a challenge for Indy City Futbol, as the League strives to hold a balance between good, hard play and safe, neighborly attitudes. Several teams have seen better days, including Mass Ave United and Atletico Cottage Home, while other teams like Meridian-Kessler United and Bates Hendricks FC have excelled in volunteer and party skills, but have yet to put together a strong run in the playoffs.
League official Jai Desai was a little less guarded than the Commissioner in his comments. “A good development system is crucial in having a competitive team year over year. But we’ve been told by [MLS Commissioner] Don Garber and [FIFA President] Gianni Infantino that Sporting Herron Morton’s player development results are far too strong for the United States soccer system.” Desai sighed, “I’m not saying we’re looking at moving the whole team to Spain, but let’s just say we’ve contracted an ‘agente de bienes raíces’ in Madrid.”
This reporter could not determine whether this statement was accompanied by a twinkle or a tear of joy in his eye.