Some ICF Players Frustrated With New League Handshake Policy
For the 2018 season, Indy City Futbol implemented a new tradition: before each game, both teams now shake hands as a gentle reminder that all players are neighbors and have to work in the morning. This acknowledgment has been well received by most players, and it’s been so popular that FIFA adopted the policy for this year’s World Cup games.
However, a few players have expressed disdain for the new policy. While no one would comment on the record, one north-side striker said, “This new handshake policy is terrible, just terrible. I mean, it’s really hard to think of the opposing players as soulless enemies worthy of death when you’ve just looked into their eyes a few minutes before.” The player wiped away a tear, “I mean, how else am I going to release my frustration? Therapy?!”
The increase in neighborly behavior hasn’t been a benefit for all players. A west-side fullback bemoaned the additional friendliness the handshake requires: “I come to play soccer games with the full intent of slide-tackling as many people as possible. It’s bad enough the rules already won’t allow tackles, but this is seriously an infringement of my soccer rights.”
A contingency of aggressive players recently approached the American Civil Liberties Union and requested that the organization file a lawsuit against the League’s new policy, but the organization passed on the opportunity, releasing this official statement: “Unfortunately, our lawyers are too busy defending U.S. citizens against whiny executive branch employees to take the time to support whiny soccer players, too."